Silly, silly people who want jobs - Round Two

Can you submit my resume as is, in place of filling out the other template?It might take me a day or so to fill out the other template.

Sure, I can do that. I have nothing better to do during my workday than to reformat your resume for a job that you want.

Email addresses: meluv2fuc and xxxrated.infamous

Really? That’s the email you use for professional correspondence?

Responsibilities: Manage the daily activities of 11 former SOF operators with a lot of personality. If you are a dynamic, out of the box thinker with really strong leadership skills balanced by a level of tolerance for the mundane I am interested in your skill sets.

“A lot of personality” was my favorite line in this job ad. And it's so very accurate.

I appreciate,and accept,but am obliged toshare that if my Bulgarian is on the needed level,same is on my sincere view to level of responsibility,probably not as I am accustomed to duties.....You may even a s t h o n i s h some how,but better so!!!,then later...Certainly prefer no to take responsibility for others....In any case some workable interview in s i t u...c o u l,d avoid my excessive critical attitude against my self...

Non-native speakers of English who use Google to translate their emails are my favoritist!

One candidate was awarded an...
• Army Accomendation Medal

Not an Army Achievement Medal (AAM) and not an Army Commendation Medal (ARCOM), but apparently a mixture of the two

And lastly...

If you write a bestselling book in which you tell the world how much you hate the Iraqis and don’t care whether they live or die, don’t then turn around and apply for a job in Iraq and send me a resume that promotes your “I hate Iraqis” book because I’m probably not going to be real keen on hiring you for a position where you will be working with and around people for whom you hold absolutely no regard or empathy.