A Moment of Silence

Staff Sergeant John Beale, know that you are cherished.

Silly, silly people who want jobs

I'm a recruiter. As such, I communicate with people all over the world. And often they make me frown a bit and cock my head like a confused dog. Here's why...

Actual resume quotes:

Graduated the Military's top secret intelligence analyst course - Really? Is that the name of the course? Top Secret Intelligence Analysis? No, that's not the name. And the military has many intelligence analysis courses. Maybe you could tell us exactly which one(s) you completed.

led to the kill/capture of 3 major IED facilitators - Wow, um, you really don't need to tell me that you got people killed. I mean, yeah, I was in the Army and my job may have led to the death of bad guys, but I'd rather not focus on that part of it.

Team took the third Longest Shot in the history of Afghanistan War, 7.62mm
Cover of Soldier of Fortune Magazine Feb/2007 - Um, again, not so sure I want your sniper qualifications. I don't recruit snipers. That responsibility falls to another recruiting team. At another company. Maybe you could rewrite your resume to match the position and company you're applying for.


Education: I have not had ample time to focus nor complete a civilian education because of the Nations War efforts and economy. - Funny, lots of other soldiers have been involved in the Nation's War efforts (you forgot an apostrophe and there's really no reason to capitalize those words) and take online classes at the same time.

OBJECTIVE: I can give you the same dissembling hyperbole that you've undoubtedly read on countless other resumes, about how I'm an "energetic worker who thrives on high-pressure situations", or how I'm "eager to expand my professional horizons in a challanging and fast-paced environment", but time is valuable so let me come directly to the point: I want a job and I am very good at what I do. So, if you have a technology-related position that you want done correctly by a dependable, competent and experienced technologist, you'd be wise to hire me. - Yes, please come directly to the point. I don't need all that dissembling hyperbole. I like that you're so direct.

Assassinate General Manager - I really hope you meant Assistant.

I am a journalist: one who brings words to life. - Not with this sentence, you didn't.


Certifications: Crimes Against Old People - Ha! You're certified to commit criminal acts against septuagenarians? I want to go to that school!

Stay tuned for more!

We's Gettin' a Puppy!

Ours is the little, wobbly one :)

Risotto Improvisato

TOP SECRET/NinjaDisco

Since I’m moving in a couple weeks, I’m trying not to go to the grocery store and just eat what I already have in the kitchen so that I can pack fewer boxes. Since I just moved this past weekend and accidentally left the box marked “Kitchen – Spices and boxed goods” in the storage unit, my choices were even slimmer than I had anticipated when it came to lunch yesterday.

Picking through Pirate’s not-as-heartily-stocked-as-mine-were cabinets, I found some Arborio rice. Mmmmmm, risotto is yummy. So I pulled that bag from the cupboard only to discover there was all of half a cup of rice left. Jasmine rice is pretty good too, so I grabbed that as well. I searched for a can of mushrooms, but then remembered I had thrown them all away before moving since Pirate doesn’t like mushrooms. A can of peas did the veggie trick. His spices were limited to powdered onion, seasoned salt, regular salt and pepper, and thyme.

Stock…yeah, um, we gots no chicken stock. But I do have cream of chicken soup. Which is chickeny like stock. And if you mix it with enough warm water, it’s watery like stock. That works.

In the fridge I found a hunk of Parmesan that was purchased in December and was whiter and fuzzier than Parmesan probably should be – it went into the trash. I also found a glass jar of grated Parmesan, that kind that lasts for years and years and often comes in a green cylinder. Bingo! The tub of butter had an eat-by date of February and looked dry and flaky, so it followed the block of cheese. Sticks of butter were fresher. And for the crowning glory, my garlic-less Italian rice will be accented with a single tub of garlic-butter crust dip from Papa Johns.

So, on to the how to:

Put 2 tablespoons of butter into a large saucepan and heat to medium.

Add whatever spices you find in the cupboard that would taste good with creamy but not really cheesy yet quite chickeny rice – I used seasoned salt, onion powder, black pepper and just a dash of thyme 'cause I don’t really like it.

Once the butter is melted, pour in about a cup of whatever combination of rices were available (Arborio is best, but I’m all about some improvisation). Stir it around to get it buttery and brown it just a tad.

Mush your cream of chicken soup into a cup or so of warm water so there are no chunks left.

Stirring constantly, add a cup of soup and half a cup of warm water to the rice and let it cook down.

Alternating between the soup and the warm water, keep adding liquid (up to 5-7 cups) and letting it cook out until the rice is creamy – at least 20 minutes, but feel free to cook longer.

When the rice is super-saturated enough, or you’re just bored with standing at the stove and stirring, pour the last 1/25th of a cup of Parmesan you found into the rice along with the drained can of peas and the mini-tub of Papa John's dipping sauce.

Stir, serve, eat, yum.

TOP SECRET/NinjaDisco

Simple Happiness

This just makes me smile...

:)

Segregation - thank you, sir, may I have another?

Segregation is really starting to bother me. And it’s probably a type of segregation that you wouldn’t normally think of having a great impact on life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. But, it kinda does affect those things.

I’m talking about the segregation between military enlisted and officer personnel.

“Samira, what kind of dissenting craziness are you spouting over there?” may be your first question. Well, let me explain.

I am well aware of the fact that there is a very definite line that separates the enlisted ranks from the officer corps and it is also a very necessary line. They have different responsibilities and never the twain shall meet (though they do sort of smoosh together as warrant officers in the Army and Marine Corps). In fact, so explicit is this line that marriage is downright illegal between officers and enlisted.

The basic breakdown is this – enlisted are the worker bees, officers are the managers. There’s a lot more to it than that, but we’ll keep this simple.

My handsome Pirate and I have differing views on this division. His point of view comes from the fact that he was raised in a career officer household and joined the military as an officer. I speak from the experiences I had as an enlisted soldier. He says that officers are simply a different breed of people. They join the military because they have the desire to lead and to take responsibility for and authority over actions and personnel. I believe it’s a matter of indoctrination – once you’re accepted as an officer, you are taught what your responsibilities are and what expectations people have of you. To be a good officer, you learn to be the person the military expects.

We often debate why enlisted personnel are the ones to get in trouble and act like jackasses so much more often than officers do. I maintain it’s because they are never forced to take responsibility for their actions, combined with the fact that no one expects them to be better, to work smarter, to do the right thing or think before they act. I mean, yeah, they’re told to, but there aren’t a whole lot of consequences for being stupid that (especially young) soldiers take seriously.

Anyway, this is a mini-rant and off my main subject. There is segregation. I realize that, I accept that, I even agree with that. Fraternization can definitely cause problems.

Here is my main issue: civilian companies requiring (well, I don’t think they can legally “require” so being adamant about candidates having) a specific rank in the military to be considered for a civilian position. I’m currently recruiting for a Program Manager and was told today about a few resumes I had presented, “but all of these candidates were enlisted.”

So what?

If they spent twenty years in the military, then they’ve got some management experience, I promise. And if they’ve spent the last 5-10 years as a program manager with other companies and their resumes meet all the other requirements, then who cares if they were E-8s or O-5s when they retired? Especially considering that one specific candidate that received the “but he’s an NCO” comment has been a program manager with another defense contractor for a few years now.

The same thing vaguely happened to me. Back when my Arabic skillz were slightly better than they are now, I was given a job as a civilian linguist in Iraq. I overheard one of the Program Managers in the main office say, “All of our site managers need to have been at least an E-6, though I would really prefer E-7s or higher.”

I didn’t worry about it at the time, but I still remember that comment. Just because I was an E-4 didn’t mean I didn’t have the experience or skills necessary to fulfill a management position. In fact, three months later, I was a site manager with that same company.

I hate it when a person’s abilities or experiences are summarily disregarded simply because they didn’t hold the “proper” rank in the military. Look at the person, not the rank! If you look at my rank, I was simply an Army specialist. However, I was in charge of over 300 linguists in Iraq. You find me a First Sergeant with a company of 300 soldiers – and, oh by the way, they’re all stationed at different Army posts. Not gonna happen.

Segregation – it’s okay for the military, but not so much once you are a civilian again.

Heroine? Bernie Madoff? Homicide? No, just milk.

"[L]ate last year an Ohio raw milk co-op was raided at gunpoint by sheriffs' deputies."

Did you seriously just say that a milk farm was raided at gunpoint? And not because it was a transfer point in the Colombian drug trade, or because 100 illegal immigrants were hiding in the basement, or because there was counterfeit money production scheme being run out of empty stall #37, or because bin Laden was disguised as a cow?

A milk farm was raided at gunpoint for distributing raw milk.

You despicable, vile sinner. I'm surprised you haven't rid the planet of your worthless, shameful self already. A pox on you, raw milk distributor. A pox on you.

http://lifestyle.msn.com/your-life/living-green/articlegreenchan.aspx?cp-documentid=18708415&gt1=45002

Who raids a milk farm at gunpoint?!?!?!?!!?